The first step toward accountability is admitting and taking responsibility for our actions. That process begins with apologizing to the individual(s) we have harmed and working with them to right the wrong (regardless if it was intentional or unintentional.)
The ReAACT Method
The ReAACT method provides a framework to apologize when we are made aware of or realize we made a mistake. This method provides an in-depth description of how to meaningfully apologize.
ReFLECT
Reflect on the situation as well as your stereotypes/biases and listen to people if they indicate you have hurt someone or a group of people.
Acknowledge
Acknowledge and accept responsibility for your actions. I’m sorry if…” isn’t an apology. It’s an expression of doubt that you did anything wrong. Try to avoid using “but” or “if.”
Apologize
Say you are sorry. It doesn’t really matter what you intended. If you have made a mistake or violated someone else’s dignity, you simply need to address the impact of your actions on the other person. Apologize for what you did, not how the other person/people reacted.
Communicate what you are apologizing for and what you’ve learned. Feel and express sincere remorse, empathy, and compassion. Avoid defending your good intentions or past history. If possible, apologize to the particular group you’ve offended and enter into ongoing conversations with them.
If you caused harm in public, try to apologize in public. Harm that is caused in community should be healed in community.
Change Your Behavior
Share exactly what you will do in the future to avoid such a mistake. Recognize that your apology is just the beginning. Be curious about the ‘impact’ of your actions and remain open to hearing reactions from others. Follow through by changing your behavior/attitudes, and share what you’ve learned with your family, colleagues, and community. Find resources to educate yourself about how your behavior may perpetuate systemic oppression.
Thank
Thank the person for sharing the new information and allowing you to repair the harm.